


They Asked Me

by Swindle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, F/M, Introspection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 05:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13517604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swindle/pseuds/Swindle
Summary: Dumbledore's white tombstone, Snape's silence, Hermione's resolution.You haven't give up, you have never gave in, even more this time you couldn't do it. You won't.«You have always been smarter»





	They Asked Me

**Author's Note:**

> More romantic than my usual.  
> Hope you like it! :D

 

The rain pours incessantly on you, with a roar that overwhelms and dumb your thoughts. Meanwhile, the last words you uttered remain suspended between the two of you.  
It was like a condemnation for him, but also for you.  
You haven't give up, you have never gave in, even more this time you couldn't do it. You won't.

  
«You have always been smarter», he finally answers, the words arrive loud and clear to your ears, despite the hell of all that rain.

  
It's the first sentence you hear from him, since the moment you arrived there, when you yelled against him all the deductions your brain had been able to conceive.  
And you are still amazed about how much your tongue has been sharp, you're amazed for the sarcasm you managed to use.  
Perhaps, he is also amazed.  
Him, who is still there where you found him, kneeling in front of the white headstone of Albus Dumbledore, in the same position where he remained for as long as you screamed, calling him a murderer.

  
«You've always been smarter», he murmurs again, getting up.

  
Not smarter than your classmates, not clever than him, not more intelligent than someone in particular. Only smarter.  
While he turns at last, facing you, you understand that in fact it's not an insult, as it used to be, an annoying know-it-all. It is a compliment.  
Thus, you feel the need to answer, to explain, and this time your voice doesn't tremble with rage.

«It's all so obvious, actually. Professor Dumbledore used to say there was a reason he trusted you, Sir. I only needed to put the pieces together, among all the information we had, and so I understood».

  
You almost hope he'll answer you. But he doesn't.  
He looks up at the sky, staring at the rain pouring down, almost fascinated.  
You would like to know what he's thinking, you'd like to know why he doesn't look at you, why he doesn't say anything. He didn't stand up for himself or speak back at you, even when you were screaming against him.  
You clench your fists.

  
«You loved her, that's why», you states, hoping to get his attention «You loved Harry's mother and you feel guilty because she died because of you. And you even played both sides, ours and as Death Eater, for all this time, because of it».

  
_But I know it's not just for this. Because you aren't a nice person, that's true, but you are a good one. A good man, who made horrible mistakes, and is paying a very high price for them_ , you add these words in your mind, not telling them aloud.  
In response, he continues to look stubbornly at the sky.  
Only then do you notice that he has dark marks along his cheeks. Marks which the rain is slowly washing away. Marks of tears.  
Yet he doesn't answer you.  
You'd like him focus on you. And the fact that he doesn't, although there is only you out there in the rain, next to the grave of Dumbledore, makes you anger again.

  
«Thus, again, you behaved like a puppet! You let the others pull your strings, without opposing, like the coward you are! And your soul has once again been stained with innocent blood!», you accuse him fiercely.

  
_Even if it was Dumbledore who ordered you, I know it_ , you think, _and you know I understood that_.  
Again, he doesn't react to your words.  
You raise your voice, and this time red sparks gush from your wand.

  
«For Merlin's sake, answer me! Say something!»

  
By now, you're exasperated and a thousand other ways that at this time, despite all the words you know, you cannot describe.  
You lower your head, with sad eyes.

  
«That's why you rejected me in May, Sir? I never believed that the real reason was my age, or the fact that you were my teacher. I just gave up. I only understood after you had killed Dumbledore», you whisper.

  
You're back to a more formal tone, because you want him to understand that you are over that incident and that, really, you're not in love with him anymore.  
Even if you both know it's a lie, your feelings are not important now.  
As long as he trusts you.  
You raise your face, fixing your eyes on his, full of desperation.

  
«But I don't care, Professor! It never mattered to me. I don't even care that you really killed him, because I know the truth!»

  
In the end he stares at you, yet he doesn't really see you.

  
«What do you want?»

  
His voice is unstressed, unlit, as if it's coming from the hell itself. You shudder for how he sounds.  
Then you frown, not understanding the question.  
Did he hear what you told him?

  
«I beg your pardon?»

  
The man takes a deep sigh, before answering with the same tone of voice used shortly before.

  
«I've lived more than you have, Miss Granger. I know how these things go. I'll repeat myself only one more time: what do you want in exchange of your silence?»

  
You stay stunned, horrify. If they could, your eyes would come out for how wide they are, as open your mouth is.  
You cannot believe it.  
He doesn't want anyone to know.  
He doesn't want you to tell Harry, Ron, Professor McGonagall, and everyone of the Order of the Phoenix.  
He doesn't want you to tell everyone that he's innocent.  
He doesn't want you to say he's still doing what Dumbledore has ordered him, that he's still on the good side, that he has always been.  
This time, it's him who has no hope of getting an answer from.  
You're way too shocked.

  
Finally he looks at you, and he really sees you.  
Your silence was needed for his eyes to meet yours.  
He starts to talk, in a whisper, and you can tell all his sadness and resolution, because is reflected in those two dark tunnels that his eyes are, those two pieces of heaven miserably fallen, which you continue to dream.

  
«They asked me to kill, and I became a murderer.  
They asked me to torture, and I became ruthless and violent.  
They asked me to gather intelligence, and I became a spy.  
They asked me to keep secrets, and I became a liar.  
They raped my mind and body, and I became empty.  
You see, you can ask me to do anything, and I'll become what you want. Obeying orders is the only thing I can do».

  
Silence comes and passes.  
You realize at that moment that you started crying. Warm tears run through your beautiful face because of all that you have seen behind those words, all the hidden truth, all the excruciating pain.

  
Yet, it's worth all of you've done, all the researches, all the pride you had to swallow... all of it, for the flash of surprise and unconscious happiness you see in his eyes as you jump at his neck, catching him off guard. You hug him and whisper:

  
«I ask you to love me, Severus Snape, because you have become my only love».

 

  
_~ Fine_

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all that world is not mine. I'm only having fun. All the thanks to you, J.K.Rowling.
> 
> Note: English is not my first language... so, I'm sorry for any mistakes!


End file.
